I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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