His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
