every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.