So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!