So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?