My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize