i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize
