After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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