I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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