I am puke
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
