I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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