Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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