Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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