im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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