forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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