brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
