and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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