When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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