508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
