Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize