I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.