Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.