My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.