some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
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I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
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i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.