So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
