Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
