She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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