Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
