yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
