Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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