this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
this hospital has no fireball
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
