I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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