At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
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