Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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