Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
