3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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