I have demons in me.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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