She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
