I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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