I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I hope mine doesn't look like that
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
