So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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