Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
