No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.