umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
But break dance skills will only take you so far
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever