So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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