she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
That's how pantless uber rides happen
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
