Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
