The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
