that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
