How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
