Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize