Do you still have your period?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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