Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
