You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
