note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
