Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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