Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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