Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He has the fingertips of a God
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