She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
