i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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