areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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