As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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