THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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