you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
