So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
