Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
