I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
