i can juggle bunnies
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
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I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
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i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?