Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
