i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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