Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
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Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
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There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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