Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.

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(214): View more from Texas

dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!

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(714): View more from California

Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.

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(228): View more from Mississippi

We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver

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(314): View more from Missouri

I am not getting you a goat.

(479): View more from Arkansas

Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.

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