I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Did I show you my penis last night?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man