It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
