Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.